I don't know why I write. I feel like most of the time they are just ramblings in my head and I just need to get them out. Occasionally, I receive a kind email or comment thanking me for sharing but for the most part this is just an empty space for me to pour out.
A few days ago I took my middle Little to the dentist for a routine cleaning. Not knowing how long it would be and knowing how my heart was burdened I carried my Bible and journal in with me to the waiting room. As I sat in a corner chair next to the video games to be close to my child I opened my Bible and for what ever reason I thought 2 Timothy sounded like a good book that morning. I love that my Bible gives me a little background knowledge of each book so I can relate to the author and to whom he is writing. This day, I happened to pick a book that is a letter that Paul wrote to his disciple Timothy, his friend, someone he cherished.
I couldn't get past verse 7. I just kept reading 2 Timothy 1:1-7 over and over and underlining words as they grew in importance, I research the footnotes and other information about the women he mentions and the letter began to blossom. As I was sitting there reading they called my Little's name and he went back to see the dentist. He skip hopped back and that was reassuring. For some kids they don't always have a positive experience and it only takes one bad experience at the dentist to ruin it all together. In their hearts they will always believe that something bad could happen again.
In these verses I read Paul reminds Timothy that he has a job to do and it needs to be done. But before that, he expresses his love and belief in Timothy's abilities. He builds Timothy up by reminding hi of his experiences and his heritage. God did not give the spirit of fear.
As I thought about those kids who are afraid and those who are not I thought, you know, it really only takes one bad experience for a person to lose all trust and many, many good experiences to gain it back. So, I thought to myself concerning my own life, "Self, what are you afraid of? God did not put a spirit of fear in you. He gives you power, love and sound mind when you have faith. It's because of your faith that you have these things. So, what are you afraid of?"
When our Lord Father thinks of us He does so with a love that would overwhelm us and we should remind ourselves that we have a legacy to leave in order to for our children to have a heritage to look back on and be reminded of.
As I type much of this from my journal and fill in the gaps I am reminded that just this week, just a few days ago my #faith was threatened. It's times like those that make me rethink or think about why I express my faith so openly. Is it so that I open myself for attack or that I open the possibilities for Christ to reach people's hearts. If I believed the first, I would stop writing and sharing about Christ. I would because I don't like confrontation at all. I don't know what to say in the midst and so I am shaken. However, my fear of rejection is not real. God did not put the spirit of fear in me, experience did.
How should I respond when I feel as if my faith is threatened? Just as Paul suggested Timothy to respond. Respond with love, strength, and sound mind. The Bible is story after story of God's people overcoming rejection by the world. The stories are full of power and miracles Take Daniel for instance...His faith in God set him free, delivered him from the clutch of hate.
I pray that God continue to rescue me from the clutches as I fight the good fight and share with strength, love, and sound mound. I pray He rescue me until my work is finished.
I am birth mom to my 3 boys, foster mom to 2 sweet babies, wife to my high school sweet heart, and daughter to my King. I love to write. I am no scholar but I love my Lord and He helps me.